| Script Review: Tokyo Suckerpunch | ||||
|
|
Mr. E is back with a look at the script from Tobey Maguires new film Tokyo Suckerpunch. Maguire isnt just starring in this one, hes also producing. {sidebar id=1}Its set to be directed by Gary Ross, who Maguire worked with previously on Seabiscuit and Pleasantville. On with the review Mr. E here. Do you know what the two things I hate most about going to the movies? The first thing is people who talk during the movie. (BTW, I do talk during movies, but I do it by whispering in the ear of the person I am sitting next to). The second thing I hate about going to the movies, something perhaps, I hate even more than the first thing, are the people that are OFFENDED and UPSET that Ive asked them to shut the hell up - but not in those words, of course. A few months ago, Mrs. Mr. E finally got some time off from her Department of Defense job and we went on a date. I have since forgotten what we saw, but I didnt forget the exchange I had when the guy behind me just wouldnt shut up: ME (turning around in my seat):Pardon me, do you mind not talking during the movie? Thank you. CHUNK STYLE: Yeah. Just turn around. This is the point where I wished more than anything else in the entire universe that I had WOLVERINEs Adamantium Claws! Within the space of three milliseconds, I had pictured my entire response to the CHUNKY SCHMUCK behind me: Id turn away from him for just a moment to give him the false impression that he got me and that I was going to back down. But then, Id stand up; turn back toward him, and with a SNIKT! my Razor-sharp claws would pop out. Id flick them under CHUNK STYLEs chin and say in my most Batman gravelly voice: Im sorry. You were saying what? That youll shut your ugly mouth for the rest of the movie? Uh huh. I thought so. My Adamantium Claws, glowing in the movie light, would slowly slide back into my fist. Id turn around, sit down, put my arm around my Dollface and enjoy the remainder of the film in peace. I think Im not alone in such fantasies. I think Im not alone in saying that many of us fantasize about the way theyd like their life to be instead of the way it is. Ill tell you, I used to do it a lot - especially when it came to inventing adventures with women that turned me down or gave me the lets just be friends speech. My fantasy life was bountiful and active because the rest of my life was so listlessly vapid. I was young, I was lonely and I was stupid. Did I mention I was lonely? Today it seems I hardly have time to think my own thoughts much less have time for flights of fantasy. Like right now, its 12:46 AM - my wife will be home from her Aggressive Negotiations class - well, thats what she calls it - its really Hair Coloring for Terrorist Infiltration 202 any minute now, and Ive just completed my own form of negotiations - yeah, I tried clipping my sleeping dogs fingernails and toenails, but no, he kept pulling his little paws away from my clumsy clipper holding hands, vexing me at every turn. See? Who has time for fantasy? TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH by Ed Solomon is the story of American MANGA artist BILLY CHAKA and is really about BILLY coming to grips with the difference between the adventures of his fantasy life and the adventure of his real life. Of course, because this is a movie, his real life involves movie premieres, Japanese mobsters, a beautiful and mysterious woman that idolizes him and lots of stuff blowing up. Lucky guy. START SPOILERS The film starts with BILLY CHAKAs (Tobey Maguire) sketches and comic artwork coming to life as a full -blown ANIME animated adventure, bringing the audience into his work and his state of mind. From here we go to BILLYs modest Cleveland, Ohio life. Living in a little apartment filled with Japanese Karate gear and with twenty-two graphic novels under his belt, BILLY is on the phone with SARAH, his agent. Speaking of belts, Black belts to be more specific (because black really does go with everything-you see, with Mr.E you get a script review, a little story and free fashion advice-could you ask for anything more? What? Staying on the subject and not going on about how great you are? Okay, okay), we see then BILLY teaching Kids Karate at a local Cleveland dojo, which establishes he has some MAD SKILLZ in the way of the HiiiiiiiYaaaaaa!!! Following his lesson, BILLY goes to the local coffee shop (you can tell this movie is a complete fantasy because the coffee shop is not a Starbucks and theres even a WAITRESS that BILLY flirts with), establishing he has some MAD SKILLZ when it comes to the fine art of flirting. Actually I have no idea what MAD SKILLZ are, so if Im using the phrase that pays incorrectly here could you drop me a line? Thanks. SARAH, drops into the Not-Starbucks and informs him that they are going to TOKYO to attend the premiere of the Made in Japan film TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH starring DOLPH LUNGREN as BILLY CHAKA. According to the wonderful IMDB.com, Dolph Lundgren is in talks to play DOLPH LUNGREN! Now, I dont know if hes willing or even qualified for the role, but if he turns it down, I know the part could be the comeback role for Action hero god RAINER WOLFCASTLE! Just think about it. Once in Tokyo, BILLY meets YUKO, the most beautiful woman hes ever seen. What? Not Bryce Dallas Howard as GWEN STACY? This is one weird movie. Anyway, he tries to slip her his ROOM KEY, but is Key Blocked by her FATHER. Ouch. PAUSE SPOILERS I gotta be honest here. I had a number of misconceptions going into the reading of this script. The biggest misconception I had was I thought the writer, Ed Solomon was the guy who wrote ROBOCOP and STARSHIP TROOPERS, two darkly funny and very subversive films. No, that was Ed Neumeier (who is, right now, directing his own script of STARSHIP TROOPERS 3: MARAUDER and JOHNNY RICO is back! Wow! Twice the Van Dien, twice the Van Dienage! By the way Mr. Ed Neumeier, if you want someone to write up The Making of STARSHIP TROOPERS 3: MARAUDER for a major entertainment website with a set visit (Hint Hint), drop me, Mr.E, a line C/O IESB.net) Now where was I before my Klendathu sized butt kissing? Oh yeah-the screenwriter. The actual screenwriter for TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH, Mr. Ed Solomon, is known for CHARLIES ANGELS, MEN IN BLACK, THE BILL AND TED MOVIES and MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD along with a number of other good credits. So, okay, hes got the funny, but it wasnt the kind of funny I was expecting. Here I made another mistake: Based on the fact the story was set in Tokyo, and that SARAH and BILLY bickered and BILLY seemed unwilling to participate in the nonsense of being a celebrity, I thought I was reading a Generation X or a Generation Y LOST IN TRANSLATION. Nope. MORE SPOILERS YUKO and BILLY meet again. YUKO ditches her bodyguards and BILLY escapes SARAHs overprotection, as they make to a SUPER HIP JAPANESE DANCE CLUB. Their mutual lust taking over any common sense is interrupted when they discover theyve been followed-not by YUKOs bodyguards, but by FOUR JAPANESE MOBSTERS. Despite his best efforts, BILLY gets the crap kicked out of him, and YUKO is kidnapped. Now BILLY has until sunrise to save YUKO or shes deader than Jacob Marleys reggae/disco album CHAINS OF LOVE. And heres where it gets interesting. Not just because the plot thickens and the action really kicks in, but because BILLY changes as the demands set upon him increase. Meaning that, at the beginning of the movie, BILLY is a little full of himself, but more importantly, like my opening story, BILLY confuses his abilities with the abilities of his fictional character. This initially causes him to rush into danger and believe that he can kick more butt than he is actually capable of. At first when he does try to fight, he is rather realistically terrible at it. Then he vacillates between being cowardly and over-heroic, and as SARAH comes along for the ride, she tries hard to act as his voice of reason. Here SARAH and BILLYs relationship progresses from mutually not interested, to greatly annoyed with one another to trust and much more. Yes, their banter and battles do happen in the order you may have seen in other romantic comedies youd expect, but their interaction and all of TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH is a lot of fun NO MORE SPOILERS Unlike most reviews Ive done, I also spent some time thinking about my casting choices. YUKO was an easy call, as I envisioned SIN CITYs Devon Aoki as the BILLYs dream dame. For SARAH, she either needs to be spunky and cute with a kind of older than her years wisdom about her, like HARD CANDY/X-MEN 3s Ellen Page or a smart and sexy, tough and classy dame. For this version of SARAH, I thought a darked-haired, cat-eye glasses wearing Allison (Smallville) Mack. I give TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH a GREMLINS 2 out of a possible LOST IN TRANSLATION or 7 stars out of 10. Mr. E would like to invite readers to check out www.billychaka.com for information about the book Tokyo Suckerpunch by Isaac Adamson the other Billy Chaka books: Hokkaido Popsicle, Dreaming Pachinko, and Kinki Lullaby. TOKYO SUCKERPUNCH By Ed Solomon May 22, 2007
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email This
Comments (0)
 Write comment
|
Show/Hide comments
Show/Hide comment form
