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Readers Reviews: The Clone Wars.I Have a Bad Feeling About This!
Written by IESB Staff    Monday, 11 August 2008 18:00    PDF Print E-mail

George Lucas continues to destroy his legacy with seeming aplomb in upcoming animated Star Wars flick: The Clone Wars. 

{sidebar id=1}Our faithful reader 'Xizor is the Man" has sent in the following review of the upcoming animated flick Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

Hey Robert, saw the film this past weekend over at the Egyptian in Hollywood. I wish I could say that I was required due to my office affiliations with LFL but truthfully I lost a bet and I had to take my nephew. Here is a review, if you use it call me "Xizor is the Man".
Star Wars fans be warned: George Lucas doesn't care what you think. He only cares what he wants to see, and no one on our planet or any other, not even Steven Spielberg, can convince him otherwise. From its horribly fragmented dialog to its nearly incoherent storyline, George Lucas uses the WWII movie template to attempt to open up the world of Anakin Skywalker to a new, young audience. Unfortunately, Executive Producer Lucas fails miserably, showing the same lack of reverence for his own material that he did with Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

Truly heartbreaking is that the movie itself is stunningly beautiful; great skill has gone in to the visual style of the film. But in what is becoming a norm in George Lucas's film, very little time or care appears to be lent to the story that hits the screen. Back story, character development, character visuals...all have been obviously labored over by artists who have great affection for the Star Wars universe. Unfortunately, its creator does not. If he did, his dialogue would not be so inherently juvenile, the storyline so inane.

The Clone Wars posits that Count Dooku, voiced by Christopher Lee, is trying to trick Jabba the Hutt into becoming an enemy of the fledgeling Empire by stealing his son and blaming Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker for the kidnapping. Among other things. But I think that's the main story is supposed to be. It was sort of hard to tell.

When it comes to nerd-nitpicking, unfortunately this movie provides verdant fodder. Every ground battle seems to take place head-on, in a straight line. Since there are two sides to the battle, it's obvious they'd just run directly at one another, laser cannons blazing, right? Plenty of clone troopers meet brutal ends on camera. Weirdly, a group of bounty hunters, chasing Jabba's stolen son, are mentioned on screen, but all we ever see of them is their severed heads, lined up one next to another. No reason is given for their demise, though one supposes Dooku had something to do with it.

Added to the mix is Anakin (Matt Lanter) and his new Padawan Asohka Tano (played gamely by Ashley Eckstein). Pairing the two is played out as a chance to create some sort of paternal spirit in the ever-darkening Anakin's psyche. Asohka's spunky manner may be an attempt to appeal to kids; any adult who grew up with the universe might be confused by the fact that you've got a padawan smart-mouthing her mentor from the get-go. Here, Lucas continues with his poor taste in nicknames...Anakin calls Asohka 'Snips' based on an offhand comment he makes during their meeting, while Tano calls her mentor 'Sky-Guy'. Seriously? George, c'MON. Annoying, corny offhand comments from countless, nameless battle droids, and an unintentionally hilarious relative of Jabba the Hutt named Ziro who has all the swish of a powder-puffed drag queen...it just goes downhill from there. Random decisions like these seem to see Lucas intentionally scuttling his own universe.

The movie is not without merit: the battle sequences are immense, and tightly choreographed for maximal visual eye candy, explosions and laser bolts flying everywhere. Jedi lightsaber fights are lively and full of energy. Kids at the screening seemed to enjoy a closer look at Jedi martial arts in action. The animation style may have been a bit wooden, but textures, colors, motion...all are

Unfortunately, most of the laughs come because of the patent silliness of the story. Our guess is, had George stayed out of it, and not meddled with Dave Filoni's direction, the movie would have been more coherent, and enjoyable. Unfortunately, The Clone Wars as a movie is just as complicated and untenable as the fictional war it describes. It's hard to believe, but The Clone Wars is a bit of a snooze. Perhaps if George were to hand over control to someone who cares a little bit more about his legacy than he does, we might see a Star Wars that once again matches the original in passion, and production. 

Updated!: Lets Hear What The Film Geekz Had To Say 

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